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Marina Bay & Business District, Singapore	13 March 2003, Singapore Serene & Sterile I’m sitting here in my ‘room’ sipping on a cool “Kickapoo Joy Juice.” I don’t know where the name came from, or how it ended up on a can as the name of a beverage, but I think it’s hilarious. It would be funnier, however, if they named the ‘pop beverage’ “Kick Apu Joy Juice” and had a picture of Homer Simpson smiling on the can. To make it even more local, why not re-name the beverage “Cane Apu Joy Juice”, since it is most likely made from sugar cane! Uh huh. Flying in, I had the impression that we were passing over a large Lego city that had just recently been constructed. Most of the buildings were at least partially painted in a bright colour such as blue or pink, with the rest of the building in a bright white. In most cities in Southeast Asia I’d be looking for the few nice few buildings to find the city’s centre. Singapore, on the other hand, was loaded with areas that could have been city centres. That said, the larger than average cluster of skyscrapers around the Water’s edge could not be missed. Driving into the downtown core was like driving into any non-abandoned North American city. The only differences were that they drive on the other side of the street, the streets are much cleaner and it’s way too hot! The city is packed with American chains as well as other international favourites and there are plenty of skyscrapers and malls surrounded by what look like giant well-fed palm trees. By Southeast Asian standards, Singapore is very expensive. The hotel I stayed at, for example, has to be the cheapest around, and a tiny room with only a bed and a fan cost me about $12 a night. Not only is the room small, but the walls are paper-thin and the communal shower/washroom facilities are well below Singaporean standards. The hotel also happens to be located on Singapore’s only dirty street! All of this didn’t bother me, as I planned to stay out as much as possible and only use the facilities as a nightly pit stop for re-energizing. What Makes Singapore Singapore? Life in Singapore is a very place with some very interesting laws and ways of life. Here are some examples attention-grabbing and somewhat out of the ordinary facts that help make Singapore Singapore: Cleanliness - If you keep your public toilets sparkling clean, you may be nominated in the people’s choice contest for clean toilets. What an honour that would be! On the other hand, if you neglect your lavatory and allow bacteria to grow wildly, a disgruntled user may dial the toilets of shame hotline. Let’s say your closest public toilet gets shut down and you really need to go, but can’t find one, do not do your business in an elevator, as many of them are equipped with urine-sniffers. You should also do your best to eliminate possible malaria-breeding puddles in your home, as you may receive a home inspection from the State. The sale of gum is also prohibited. It is not illegal to chew it, but if you dispose of your gum on the sidewalk and are caught, you’ll face a heavy fine. If you’re convicted of littering three times, you’ll have to help clean the streets every Sunday wearing a bib that says “I am a litterer.” You may even be shown on the local news, so make sure you comb your hair and wear your favourite pair of Nikes. Anti-Red Light District - There exists an Undesirable Publications Act, which bans 170 magazines, books and computer media that are considered pornographic. Walking around your house nude is also considered pornographic, so you better make sure the blinds are shut if this is a habit you can’t shake. The State also has a Social Development Unit, which helps facilitate matchmaking and offers family planning services. Language - Many Singaporeans speak their own English dialect, known locally as Singlish. For example, many people add a “lah” to the end of a sentence to emphasize a point. The present tense is also used quite often where the past and future tenses would grammatically make sense. Also, repeating a word can add emphasis. For example, “Can, can” means “Yes, can do.” The Singapore Sling - Invented by Ngiam Tong Boon, the Singapore sling was devised for the fashionable patrons of the Raffles Hotel in 1915. To make your own, combine 1 ounce of gin, 2 tablespoons of cherry heering, 1 dash of Benedictine, 1 dash of Cointreau, 1 dash of Angostura bitters and lime & pineapple juice. Don’t forget a maraschino cherry or a piece of pineapple lah! Yes yes good it is! Singapore’s Sights My first taste of Singapore was wandering down the main shopping street, Orchard Road. As I made the trek on foot and was sweating profusely due to the super high humidity, I decided to check out what seemed to be a nice air-conditioned shopping centre. As it turns out, I walked into a nine-story super mall called Plaza Singapura. It had all the shops you’d expect to find as well as a grocery store, movie theatre, video game arcade and plenty of tasty eat spots. I kind of felt like a bum wandering around, as all the locals dressed very well – usually dress pants and a collared shirt for the guys, and something nice for the ladies, while I had on a t-shirt, a pair of board shorts and scarred sandals that have gone through many life-threatening surgeries. With my appetite now fully built up and my body temperate back to normal, I thought it might be fun to visit Little India at night for some cheap yummy treats. Over seven percent of the local population are Indian and the majority congregate in a district surrounding Serangoon Road, north of the city centre. The first of the Indian settlers in the area came from Calcutta, Madras and Malaya as a result of the introduction of cattle rearing on the fertile land and also from the building of a racecourse nearby by the Europeans in 1843. It is such a lively area both by day and by night, with plenty of shops and markets. Finally, back to the reason for opening this paragraph – the food! I think I could spend a year in the area just sampling the various dishes. With a ton of useful maps that I picked up somewhere in the mall, I planned my route and headed for the colonial district near the Singapore River. Wandering by these lovely European looking buildings, it was easy to imagine rich Europeans sitting outside on the patio sipping on their tea and discussing literature and politics – like a retreat for those who wanted to come to Asia but were to scared to discover what it is really like. The buildings are so well maintained that you’d guess they were built just a few weeks ago. As I arrived at the War Memorial Park, dedicated to those who lost their lives during the World War II Japanese occupation, I was amazed at how modern the architecture was. Contrary to most Western modern buildings, which have no style or significance other than to house businesses, and seem to be built as fast as possible, these buildings seemed to have a purpose as well as a place. They not only contribute a space for business, but they also add to the aesthetic look of the area. For example, the Singapore International Convention and Exhibition Centre had the craziest design – as if it were a couple of grey golf balls with scales! In other words, it houses important cultural exhibitions, and also showcases modern architecture in a very contemporary area of town. When I reached the Waterfront I for the first time since arriving in Singapore discovered busloads of Asian tourists. There were pictures being snapped as often as there were drops of Water hitting the pond at the Merlion Statue. Picture a fish’s body with a lion’s head spewing Water – that’s Merlion. This symbol apparently pays tribute to Singapore’s history as an ancient sea town. I then made my way to Chinatown. That last sentence in itself is kind of a funny, given that around 78% of Singapore’s population is Chinese! But, it exists, and is worth a visit! It’s kind of like the old quarter of any modern town. The first Chinese to settle in the area did so in 1821 from Xiamen China. It became the Chinese immigrant’s place of residence, while the river area became the place of employment. If you’re looking for tailor-made suits, souvenirs, antiques or cheap Chinese food, this is your place. The antique shops are fun to explore, as they contain a wide variety of historical items from many countries in the region. They are slightly pricey, so make sure to negotiate. If you’re not in the mood for buying, these places are still worth a visit, as they can act as mini museums. I had my eye on the lovely hand-painted snuff bottles, but I’ve decided to wait until I get to China to pick some up. After a long walk up to and across Orchard Street, the main shopping district, I made my way to the Newton Hawker Centre for some cheap eats before heading out on my night excursion. Hawker Centres are everywhere in Singapore and basically consist of a group of food stalls that sell all kinds of food – from Chinese to Malaysian to Indian. Locals often gather here, as the prices are great and the selection even better. You’ll even notice that each stall displays a letter grade, which I believe corresponds to the level of cleanliness. I saw a couple of A’s and plenty of B’s. That’s so Singapore! Come to think of it, every meal I had in Singapore, with the exception of a couple in Little India was at a Hawker Centre. I guess I was trying to balance the higher cost of accommodation with lower costs of food. It’s delicious, authentic and a great way to sample, so why not! For the price of one Starbuck’s coffee on Orchard Road, I was able to have two meals at Hawker Centres. From Newton’s Hawker Centre, I got on the Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) and made my way out of town. This underground transit competes with, heck, is better than any I’ve ever been on. It’s easy to ride, safe, clean and very well designed. Some of the cars even have new virtual travel help television monitors to aid you along the journey. Of course, everything is in English, so there’s no excuse to get lost or miss your stop. The ticket system is also environmentally friendly. There’s no waste of paper at all! When you buy a single ride ticket, you pay a $1 deposit and receive a credit card sized ticket. When you reach your destination, simply return the ticket in the same machine where you purchased your ticket and you get your $1 back. After a connecting bus I found myself at the Night Safari by 20:00 all ready for some animal action. Not at all surprising, when you leave Singapore’s downtown district, things don’t all of a sudden become dirty and decrepit like they do in many other cities. Everything was still spotless clean and well maintained. I believe the Night Safari is the only one of its kind in the world. It’s open every evening from 19:30 to midnight and gives the visitors a rare chance to see animals such as leopards, tarsiers and bats in their environment at night – often when they are most active. The park animals live in various simulated Asian environments, such as the Nepalese River Valley and the Burmese Hillside. Highlights for me had to be seeing the greater Asian rhinos, gir lions, tigers and even flamingos! There’s a set tram trail around the park as well as a few walkways. I’d suggest a combo of both. Final Thoughts There isn’t much that you won’t find in Singapore. They have a ski hill (funny, I know, but I saw the ad on the MRT), plenty of shopping, beaches and Water sports, tropical rainforest and plenty of plants and animals as well as restaurants galore. Heck, their crosswalks even have timers to let you know how much time until the light changes. The little green man even starts to run faster when time is running out. What is missing, in my opinion, is some sort of unique Singaporean art or culture. Sure it exists, but it’s hard to find and often difficult to distinguish from Chinese culture. It’s even kind of strange since littering basically does not exist, there is no really shady district and half of the conversations on the street are in English. All of this adds up to a great escape from the rest of Southeast Asia, but it does make the environment a bit sterile and banal if I might say. Nonetheless, it’s a great place to spend a few days and it would be an ideal place for a Westerner to work in Asia. You can find everything you have back home and then some. It’s like a big city that won’t let loose, no matter how many Tiger beers you shove down their throats.
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